Friday, February 8, 2013
Project 52:6 P is for...Patience
As much as my mom wanted to rush in and grab Baby P and give her cheeks a pinch, she kept her distance and let Peyton get used to her.
It was interesting to watch Peyton watching my mom. She is so much like her dad, she sits and observes new people before deciding to engage.
Monday morning Baby P and me were up before everyone else, and we went through our morning routine. I put her in her exersaucer to play in the bathroom doorway while I took a shower, poking my head out to talk to her.
My mom got up and walked into the hall where P was facing the mirror, so she saw Grammy in the mirror. My mom didn't move or speak but Miss Sensitive still burst into frightened sobs.
I was still in the shower at this point. I turned off the water and my mom handed P to me.
So that's what Josh woke up to that morning: Peyton screaming, big tears sliding down her face, me standing there holding her in my birthday best, trying not to drip on her.
Over the (too short!) week, Baby P got to the point where she would happily play on the floor with Grammy and let her feed her squash and bananas. But she still isn't a fan of anyone but Mommy or Daddy holding her.
My poor mom wanted nothing more than to hold her grandbaby, but she had to hold back, stay close but not reach out. By the end of the day Peyton stayed mostly calm while Grammy held her for a bedtime story. But she needed me close by, and cried if I left the room. Families of high needs babies might feel frustrated, even rejected by this behavior. It all comes down to security.
Can you be secure in the knowledge that patience and understanding will end in those cuddles you so desire? Sometimes it's hard for me to slow down and let Peyton learn how she feels about new things without rushing to the finish. I think she is meant to teach me that it's not about the endgame, it's not about just my timeline. This stranger anxiety is a hallmark of high needs personalities. It may get better, it may get worse.
So please, when you meet my Precious P, don't rush up and scoop her into your arms. I know you just want to love on her, but she's her own person and she's telling us she needs to get to know you before doling out the snuggles. And that's not a lot to ask for.